It is almost ridiculous to tell a Mom to focus on one thing. It’s like asking her to try and ignore all the elephants in the room.
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When I was still treating patients, I used to see the most shocking injuries. So complex, involving multiple systems and multiple body parts. Patients would come in so overwhelmed and so scared. They were scared of their injury, their pain, the blood, but mainly they were scared about how to handle it all.
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They didn’t feel like they could handle it all.
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They didn’t feel like they could handle it on their own.
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And I understood. It was a lot to process.
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Sometimes I was overwhelmed as their therapist. There was so much going on.
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I, often times myself, didn’t know where to begin.
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When I first began as a therapist, I was overwhelmed often. I had no idea where to start. All of their injuries felt like an emergency. Every single thing felt like it needed my attention. I couldn’t ignore any part of it because it felt like if did ignore something it would result in something catastrophic.
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It felt like so much.
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With time, I learned how to triage the injuries.
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I learned to focus on one part at a time.
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The most pressing issue first. And to continue focusing on that until it was no longer an emergency. And then it was the next most important and that’s how I continued. Sometimes, yes, we would have to focus on maybe two things at a time, but as much as possible I tried to keep the focus to the most urgent and crucial.
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This is also what I would teach the patient.
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So, the patient and I would continue this way.
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And we would see progress.
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An improvement in their body. An improvement in how they were performing their exercises. An improvement in how they were performing activities at home.
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But sometimes, we would see a setback.
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And this would usually lead to the patient becoming overwhelmed, losing focus and buckling under the weight of it all. They would feel discouraged and say that they had made no progress at all.
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I would have them stop and breathe.
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And then we would take inventory.
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I would go over where they were at. How far they had come. What they had accomplished.
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And they would be so surprised.
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Because, they would say, we had done so little. Done small things. Taken slow steps. Focused on just one thing at a time.
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They didn’t feel like they had progressed.
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I would remind them that focusing on one thing at a time was enough to make a change, to progress you forward, to change your world.
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And this is what I say to you too Mom.
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When our world is screaming for our attention, when we have a never-ending to-do list and when we have yet to feed, shower or rest ourselves, we have to remember that too.
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We have to focus on just one thing.
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When we are overwhelmed by all that we have to juggle. And we have no idea where to even start.
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We have to focus on just one thing.
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I wish we could all have someone by our side, a therapist by our side to remind us to take a step back and breathe. Someone to tell us what steps to take. Someone to hold our hands and tell us it’s going to be ok.
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But since having that someone by our side all the time is unrealistic, I want to be there for you in spirit.
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I am there by your side. Supporting you, cheering you on and reminding you that you are doing great!
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And most, importantly, I am telling you to breathe and take it one step at a time.
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It’s so normal to be overwhelmed by all we as Mothers have to do. It is normal to feel all the emotions- fear, anxiety, frustration, anger maybe. It is fine to let yourself feel them too. You should allow yourself to feel them.
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The key here, what I would tell you if I was there by your side, is to try and focus on one thing.
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Whatever it may be.
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Focus on one thing to ground yourself. So, you don’t become paralyzed by ALL THE TO-DOs. Focus on that one thing so you don’t focus on EVERYTHING. Sit in one thing so you don’t crumble under everything.
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And focus on one thing, even when it seems like it will not make a difference.
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When it seems like you’ll just have to do it again tomorrow.
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When it seems like it did not make a dent in your long list of chores, or allow you to get some rest, or stop your kids from screaming.
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Because it made a difference.
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Whether or not you felt it, it moved you forward. It progressed you past the moment. It changed you. You grew.
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It gave you back more of YOUR life in this chaotic Mother life.
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It gave you back a little serenity.
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More importantly, it’s gave you back your strength.
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So, try to focus on one thing at a time Mama.
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Everything else can wait it’s turn.
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With so much love and ALWAYS IN YOUR CORNER,
Rose
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