I can’t keep up. It’s too much. This is just too hard.
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The demands of 2020 have pushed me to the extreme. Between being all my pandemic roles of teacher, cook, playmate, coach, psychologist and, literally, any other person my children need right now and my “regular” roles, I am exhausted. I am completely burnt out.
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But the truth is I’ve been burnt out for a while now. Since 2012. When I became a mother.
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And since then, I feel like I’ve been going non-stop. At full speed. With hardly a chance to pee, let alone breathe.
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But, somehow, I am supposed to find a way to continue at this pace. Somehow, I’m supposed to figure it all out.
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Somehow.
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Somehow, I am supposed to figure out how to continue doing it all at 100% like I am ten people instead of just one. Somehow, I am supposed to figure out how to BE a mother like I’M NOT ALSO a therapist, a wife, a sister, an aunt, a friend, and a godmother. Somehow, I’m supposed to figure out how to accomplish a thousand tasks when the day only consists of 24 hours. Somehow, I’m supposed to figure out the lives of two very important little humans when I barely feel confident to figure out mine. Somehow, I’m supposed to figure out how to be 100% at my job when my mind constantly is thinking about my kids and what they are doing and what they need and if they’re tired or hungry and did I make that appointment for them like I was supposed to? And, somehow, I’m supposed to figure it all out and still fit in grocery shopping, appointments, birthday parties, classroom responsibilities, swim class, dance class, drama class, parkour class, and, finally, dinner. On the table. On time.
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Well, guess what?
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I hit a wall.
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Because I couldn’t keep up. Because it was insane. And even more insane to expect that I could keep up.
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Or that I should keep up.
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Because it is absurd. It is humanly impossible.
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And, yet, we expect this of moms every day. And not just society. But we mamas have come to expect it from ourselves and each other. We feel like we have to in order to be considered a good mom.
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We wear our exhausted bodies like they are badges of honor instead of red flags that we need to change something.
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And we do need to change something.
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We need to change our perspective.
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Mama, we should be taking care of ourselves as much as, maybe even more than, how much we care for others.
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Because if we don’t put that oxygen mask on ourselves first, we will be useless for others.
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So, stop, take a breather, maybe even ten.
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You are important too.
